Shaqquan Aaron
11/9/12
Draft 1 Paper 4
I will be discussing about how
college athletes do not get paid. This argument has been going on for a while.
It has been going on for probably about the beginning of sports in the NCAA.
Many athletes like myself feel like we should get paid and others do not
because we get scholarship money. One of my main arguments on why I think
athletes should get paid is the time commitment we put into the sport. Coaches
of our require us to practice so much that we do not have time to do other
things like having a job so we can make money for ourselves. Also there is so
much wear and tear on the body. Why wear and tear on the body is big for me is
because coaches get paid millions of dollars a year and are not close to having
as much pressure on their bodies. Also
Athletics bring in substantial amounts of money to colleges. Why cant athletes
at least get something if they do not want athletes to get paid? Athletes can’t
even get a candy bar from someone without getting in trouble. We cant even sign
jerseys and get paid for our own name. They will end up getting suspended or
something for getting “special benefits”.
There were
times this year when I was low on money but there was no way for me to make
some. The only money I had was from my mom and scholarship money for food.
Thank god for that because if those were not sources for me I would be
struggling. Also my coach demands his athletes to perform as hard as they can
everyday causing tremendous wear and tear on the body. I would like to at least
receive something since athletes can’t get paid. But the thing about that is
what would we receive then. Extra food? I already get food. So the only thing
that could really work in this situation is money right? What I am trying to
say is what is the big problem with athletes getting paid?
I like the points you make in your writing Shaqquan. it's hard to disagree with you. And the fact that you can relate yourself to it and give real life examples makes it even better. The only things I can say is that you could give just a bit more background information and also fix a couple of basic sentences and their punctuation. Good job.
ReplyDeleteI like your argument here. It's good that you include personal examples and use good language to do the emotional appeals. The examples on how you can't even sign a jersey and it can be tough to get money make your argument really convincing. With a little improvement on grammar, this is a great post.
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